i can't bare my mom sometimes. no, most of the time. i really wanna get outta this house asap. i really loved the time she went for haj. i had total freedom ahaha. but i now am able to bare the drama. screw it, i got a life outside em. it just ..... hurts. like real bad. oh well, that's life.

it's official. i'm a bitch to them. ik i've been thru something like this before but it really hurts man.

oh well, i should listen to T.I cos he got really nice lyrics like " i ain't dead, no. i ain't done, no. i ain't scared, of what? i ain't runnin, from who? still i stand. no matter what nigga here i am. " and " now i don’t really care what you call me, just as long as you don't call me rude. i bet they knew as soon as they saw me, Goodnight its over with thats all she wrote. streets like cold Chicago, aint nothing new i’ve seen it all before. but still I ball like no tomorrow, goodnight it’s over with thats all she wrote. "

sighhh this pathetic man. if its about how bitchy i was to em on sunday, hello, i was just fooling around. dammit.

feel kinda screwed right now. idkw. like i feel ignored sighh. umm i guess i shouldn't really think about it. anyways im fucked. exams on the 29th and im pretty much left out. oooh i skipped school today cos i just don't wanna have 4 fucking periods of hist. screw whatever thana thinks.

ystdy i met yuna again <333 she came to school and said hi to nava but nava was like "don't come in" the worst parts were izzat getting caught by her cos he hasn't been coming to school and nava talked to him sayin "do yk who she is? she's yuna. do yk that she got expelled and why? yk you're hanging with the wrong people" guess somethings just never change ..

i have saturday extra classes for math :| and must come on dec til 15th wtf urgh fairview!

FML

• "God will take you thru hell, just to get you to heaven."
• "I ain't dead, I aint done, I ain't scared, I aint run, no matter what, no matter what, still I stand."
• "Fear ain't in the heart of me, I learned just do it, you get courage from your fears right after you go through it."
• "Never mind what haters say, ignore them til they fade away."

i don't normally go there and don't have so much fun like where i have in pavi and bon ton. but today was surprisingly fun.

so today Rachel, Nadia, Aida, Izzat, Barsam, Kingsley and i went to klcc after school to chill cos O LEVELS THIS YEAR IS OVER!!!!!!!!!! glad that's over :)

us ladies changed in the school's toilet. we were shy to come out and idk if it was me but everyone was looking at us. we and izzat went to setiawangsa lrt station with rach's car. we were so noisy and retarded .... as usual.

then bought tix. omg it took us like forever to decide on what movie to watch. first we wanted to watch takers but we found this thai horror movie called deathplace and so we were captivated. thus we bought tix. then we had a late lunch. then waited for barsam and kingsley and jin su.

while waiting for the movie time, we went to the park and took pics. now that was fun. then we watched the movie. only 3 rows were seated .. oh fuck it was disgusting and retarded. like i screamed and laughed at the same time ... wtf?! and then when we wanted to exit the cinema, there wasn't any open doors it was like we were trapped inside. rach held onto me and we were all laughing through it but eventually found our exit.

then aida had to leave from isetan and so did i.

thuuuuuuuus it was a fun day :)

O LEVELS THIS YEAR IS OVER!!!!!!!!!! glad that's over :)

FUCKER. SALSA SAID "I WAS JUST DREAMING" I CAN'T BELIEVE I BOUGHT THAT BRAT!!!! i was too enthusiastic ...

salsa's gonna have 2 months break after her uan and i'll be having like idk how long but all ik is loooong enough for me to go on a vacation. thus we decided to go somewhere , to a beach, and so we decided THE BAHAMAS baby! i've always wanted to go there :P buuuuuut there's one problem for me, cash. that means i better save up ... a lot. like control the shopping and expenses. the best part is no parents allowed. i really hope this trip is still on though. how sick is this for me to get after grad?! i really hope her parents and mine agree. i mean, its just gonna be us at the bahamas chilling.

anyways, its 4 now. i should study. Business paper 2 tmrw :| last paper babyyyyyy.
TOODALOO

TAKERS WAS AWESOME, AMAZING, HOT AND YADDIYADDA !!!!!!!! IT WAS THE BEST 1HR 50 MINS OF MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

John was fucking butt naked!!!!!
my most fav scene was when Ghost went to a boutique trying on tuxedos -oh myyyyyyyy!! while the other men starting from AJ with his fedora -looks hot btw, smoking cig -i never thought guys who smoke are cool but this one was, and then one by one the other men; Gordon, Jesse, Jake got out of their vehicles with swag and style ... aaaaaaahhh so fucking sexyyyyyyy!!!

the action was cool. never thought men could be so sexy as badasses hahahaha.

i, i just gotta watch it again. after o levels :)

didn't go to school today for that breast cancer lollipop day thang. heard it was really boring, just free periods and cp class. also some kids not wearing pink were sent to nava's office. they had to write a report and donate 20 bucks. but some were loose cos they had pink stuff. and i really don't think the 20 bucks is for breast cancer ...... its fairview for god's sake.

pray for indonesia, the country where i'm from. tho i don't really like going back still. many natural disasters happen recently; flood, mt. merapi erupted and some lives were taken/injured and quake leading to tsunami in sumatra. omfg i just realized everything happened near parents' origin, well technically. my dad's from the island of sumatra, tanjung balai to be exact but its not on the sides of plate tectonics moves. my mom's from the island of java, yogyakarta to be exact and mt. merapi is on the outskirts of yogya named sleman. wow.
HIDUP INDONESIA

it was surprisingly not as hard as i thought. it was aight. but i'm not so confident on my work :/ hopefully i get good marks, amin :) PAPER 2 ON NOV 8TH

and, should i like, come to school tmrw? its breast cancer day and lollipop day. i gotta wear pink and the problem is, IDK WHICH PINK TOP. hmmmmmmm should i come?


15 mins later ......
aight, i decided to come. but idk if i am gonna wear pink. i have 2 options; skirt and tee OR black skinny with tee/tank . i kinda feel like bringing ma g side back tmrw hahaha buuuuut it depends.

ARGH TMRW'S BUSINESS ;(

made a tumblr ystdy but its like bleeech. i was too bored from the all of the studying haha. im still using this blog tho. this is gon be the place where i let it all out :) while that is for ummm random shit haha.

YOU CAN WALK HOME BITCHES

since i'm 15 now, i'm learning to stop backstabbing people, keep quiet, smile, talk to anyone yk even if you detest em but keep things simple and keep it all to my thoughts. i don't wanna be that bitch when i reminisce my teenage life. i've made mistakes, huge and silly ones, but it makes me to think of my upcoming actions.

wow this post is dramatic ......... i should really sleep now, its 2:30 a.m.

diggity diggity boom!

i'd like to curse in any language right now :)
i blame this on raya food. i lost 3 kgs and now i gained em back, argh! plus, i have been eating a lot nowadays. its like, i am never full! mad? yeah .. i can't control my desire to eat but i could during fasting month, esp when those ho-bags purposely ate in front of me.
i have to lose weight like 8 or 10 kgs before i go to indo. yo i gotta look fine if i wanna see my friends and relatives bahaha.
i shall reduce my sleeping hours (hardest shit cos, urgh hello, i love sleeping hahaha), control my desire of constant eating (yeah that's gonna be tough), jump ropes (okayyy) and run (urgh, failed attempt! but i should)

i had my english paper 1 last tuesday and ik i screwed my compo. i'm trying not to think of it but .... i just can't. i'm doomed. help :( on other hands, paper 2 is this tuesday. i shall practice, sigh.

this song is awesome. i mean the acoustic version is. secret has amazed me in their 3mins of shaking in magic and nailing the acoustic version. here is the translation. no i am not heartbroken, actually i am, well just a lil, cos~ there's absolutely no hope with him and ..... argh fuck that.

so it was finally honour's day. i had only a week to prepare, and everything was frustrating as hell. basically everyone loved my dance that night, they said we were so fly and G and loads more f compliments. i had a blast dancing to lil' mama's lip gloss and chris brown's wall to wall. i don't mind performing that again. i think if i have to do it now i'd do hell better than that night. but like all the teachers were saying we were amazing :P omg like on that day, i didn't get to really rehearse. then went to irene's place before she leaves to canada, for make-up and hair with jancee. i looked so G man hahahahaha. wifey was daym classy i was shocked. when i went back stage, i was so nervous. esp when the music stopped during the belly dance ohhh man everyone in my group panicked. luckily the music didn't stop and my embarrassing solo at the end was successful :)

Friday, 16

HOLY BALLS I HAVEN'T SHARE MY TERENGGANU TRIP! ['holy balls' is my new fav term]
2 words to describe that trip; amazing & unforgettable. why? cos i spent 3 days and 2 nights with my closest friends and fun teachers at a place where i never thought i would be with them :)

everyone was at school around 7 and we only left at 8. the journey was suppose to be 5 hrs max but it took 8 friggin hrs to get there cos of the driver's really slow driving, many r&r stops and traffic. but there was that one time all of us had to use the toilet so we stopped at a petronas petrol station and it only had 1 cubicle for each sex so there was a line like queuing for sembako haha.

after arriving at the 'hotel'

we went to a local disabled kids' home. it was touching for everyone. those kids did the chicken dance and it got all of us doing it back in the hotel haha. we contributed for them cos they were just lovely :)



and we went to UMT's beach ...............

so this pic on the left is basically the year 10s, i mean when i was a 10th grader. on top was Shoba, Me, JC, Riya, Irene, Shefali, Barsam, Ms. Shalini, Nabila and Izzat. Khairi and Mehul were somewhere ard the beach -,-
then the picture below are the Korean guys. see, they had their own lil photoshoot so us non koreans felt left out. both pictures are awesome, i love em.

oooooooohh HAHAHA this picture is really funny cos its showing how Barsam and Dong Jae carried Ms. Shalini and dipped em.


we were all exhausted as we got to the 'hotel' but, what do you really think of these pictures on right? do you think we look exhausted?

i planned to sleep early cos the next day was the reason why i went to the trip; THE BEACH. buuuuuuut i had guests in my room until 1 or 2am(?) it was soooooooo much fun having them over.


Saturday, 17

OH I REMEMBER THIS DAY.

i woke up at 6 am on a friggin saturday! that's abnormal kay! why did i? cos nabila, shoba, barsam and amin planned to take a walk. it was a beautiful morning with drizzles. [excuse our faces, we just woke up]

took the bus to the port and waited there for 30-50 mins (?)

on the long ass ferry ride ... i mean look at how pissed we were at the pictures. [i was just posing but i was pissed as well , that explains my smile haha]





AT THE BEACH .................................
at the first beach we snorkeled and had lunch. the sea water was crystal clear!

at the second and last beach i played volleyball while the guys played football
exhausted, hungry, was what i felt at the 'hotel' luckily there was a bbq party! but i ate a lil that night :S i happened to bond with these people

WHAT HAPPENED IN TERENGGANU STAYS IN TERENGGANU :)

Sunday, 18
everybody woke up late. we were told to be heading to the museum and we did.

we spent only 20 mins then left to the market. all the koreans were like "omg its so hot here! ewww it stinks! omg whats that, whaaaaaaa!!!! aiiishhh sibal" at the market haha then we went to mcd for lunch and headed back to kl for another 8 hrs -,- we didn't watch a movie this time, we listened to our individual songs, slept on one's shoulder and talked. some stuff are ...... sigh neva mindddd :)

I'd like to say happy birthday abang, i love and miss you so much :( wish you all the best in everything! and i mean EVERYTHING :*

okay that sounds wrong but damn that's a fucking hot song by Taeyang ;)

so exams just finished -HELLLLL YEAAAAAAAAAHHHH. i think i screwed my math and accounting paper. i couldn't feel my hands on tuesday and wednesday. sigh, i'm just glad its all over.

today's my brother's birthdayyy :* abang, i looooove you! wish you all the best in everything. i miss you so fucking much. if you were here, we'd be playing ps2 or eating mexicano food hahaha.

UWW YES, BABY. I'M GOING TO TERENGGANU TMRW :D i love that state. plus i'll be going to redaaaang ;) it's funny, like everyone who went there in yr 8 aren't going this time cos majority are in sayfol and the other 2 are just too lazy. i'm done packing. argh fuck i can't sleep early/wake up early. ik i wouldn't be sleeping in the bus, i'll be lmao-ing with nabila shoba and jancee then ho will be yapping mr.bs will do shit to crave attention and dong jae will just be him. i can't imagine how three days with korean guys and my ladies will be like . i have 2 missions there: get tanner and spank THAT ass ;) ahahahahahaha!!! i'm totally psyched about the trip!

oh yeah i went to Pangkor Laut Resort courtesy of Marriot hotel. i went there for my mom's birthday. the place is fucking gorg, aaaahh i wanna go back.

and there was ho jun's party. hahahahaha there were like 14 people in his car, it was crazy. i didn't skate i was terrified of my past kkk. so tan chun hsiang and i chilled. ganteng was there :* ho jun's dad forced nabila and i to eat durian omg i hate durian, i got a headache after eating that plus the bday cake's flavor was durian too! omg.. chun hsiang bailed on nabila and i. we freaked out on how to go back, ganteng came to the rescueeeeeee :D he dropped us at bila's place then my parents picked me up there.

i can't think of anything else happening so far. i'll blog and post pics of the trip :) ohhh i forgot to mention; the trip was meant for ib -_- urgh ib again and again, HOWEVER it became yr 10s and 9s then those ib kids go to taman negara in pahang, hah eat that! for once we cie peeps get something hella fineeee :P

I have been talking to Min Seok lately kkkkk. its so weird how i managed to text with him during K-U game sat night though i was at this resort near Pangkor island and so little connection i received XD i stayed there for a day only :( suppose to be 2 but dad was busy on friday. Sunday, June 27th was mom's 51st b-day :)

hahahaha i was thinking of dying my hair gahee's hair color or bekah's. but i think blond is too much for me :S and of course, their god damn body :)

went out with ifuuuu today. we watched karate kid then went to BT and shisha-ed til the flavor was gone. we wanted to take photo stickers but my parents were at pavi already so went back and yeah that's it.

blog ini pake bhsa indo aja ya krna agak pribadi hahaha. gw terpesona ma P & A atau manggilnya Star & Afro hahahaha. si Star lucuuuuuuu bgt gue ga tahan liatnya apalagi mata sipitnya itu, kalo senyum astaga malahan jadi 1 baris haha terus dia tampan dan seksi juga haha. sedangkan si Afro, dia ganteng sebagai orang sini. dua-duanya kocak, lucu, baik terus apa lagi yah? hmm skg sih gue taunya sampe itu doang. gimana gue ga terpesona ma mereka? orang-orangnya pada begituuu , gue kan paling suka cowo yg begitu hahaha pokoknya ga mati dan pergi (dead and gone) oh iya, kemaren atau rabu ya gue dapat laptop terus ol fb. gue pengen banget liat foto-foto grad night yg dari kamernya natalia , begitu gue liat terutama foto-foto ma MEREKA , AHAHAHAHAHAHA, gue ngakak terus senyuuuuum terus :P gue crop nabila dari foto gue & star trs di jadiin dp di twitter. kata anak-anak dia cocok jadi cowo gue NGAHAHAHAHAHA BAHAHAHAHA , amiiiiiin XD terus dia jadiin foto itu (versi original) sebagai dp nya di fb ngahaha, gue ngakak dan teriak begitu liatnya tetapi udah di ubah skg :| kayaknya gue ada rasa dikit deh ma star :S ya tuhan!

aish, kayaknya gue masuk angin. bentar lagi gue mau tidur ah secara seharian ini gue ga tidur karena tadi sore les matematik. eh, aneh bgt deh. masa past yr papers nya lebih gampang dari tb? gue ga pernah nyangka gue bakal bilang begini tapi gue merasa, sebab gue bisa & gampang ngertinya. tai ah sekolah.

i love that song and i agree with that part, i can buy all the things i want well except for love and happiness but buying some stuff makes me happy so...yeah.

my internet finally works :D omg it's been 2 weeks or sth, urgh I'm not so sure. I've been going online at daddy's office and with my new phone. its samsung corby chat , it's better than my nokia n97. thanks dad for buying me (L)






on the day i bought that, it was yr 11's grad night! even though i wasn't so close with em all but ik em and chat/hung out with em. to be honest, i miss em. school's so diff without em yk, no body sings on mon mornings like Keymir, no body practice like Early Reyhan Toby, no crazy head prefect like Ho Min and no body hardly hangs out in the balcony like Jon AK and others did. FYI, the yr 11 classes are no for lil kiddies, yeah wtf. oh well gotta move on :D none other couple would look good now since Keymir and Lycel left, now's like Emily and Rafiq!!?!

i got exams in 2 and a half weeks.. fuck ima die on math. history, hmm i think i'll be aight. I'm trying not to stress myself but how can't i? i really wanna go to yr 11 so i can finish school fast! plus it sounds cool when i say "I'm a senior now" AHAHAHA. i said this to mom "ma, don't you feel a lot more older that your son is going to work and your daughter is gonna graduate high school in a year?" HAHAHAHAHA :P

BUT , BEFORE ALL THE STRESS AND STUDYING.... I will go ol anytime i can, movie time with Ifu and for mom's bday next weekend I'll go to Pangkor baby!!!!! FINALLY, I GET TO GO TO A BEACH AND GET TANNED! yk what? few days ago peeps said i got fair again :S i was like, urgh bs but it's true! compared to the sports day and holidays with now, i look fairer. proof: grad night, omg all those pics..

Mr. BS , yeah, yk, still following? I am officially disgusted by him.

sigh... my net still can't work and now i'm online at my driver's place while seeing his baby girl, omg she's fucking cute!!!! this sucks. and wanna know what sucks even more? NEXT WEEK IS MY TERM3 BREAK BUT I GOTTA STUDY COS JUNE 7-11 IS TEST -,- aish.. i wanna go shisha :D hahaha i miss it. after graduating from high school, i wanna dye my hair and get piercings :D + i demand a longer curfew!!!

so today was you jung's party at rc . whatever happened is kinda a secret kkkkk XD then went to pavi to see irwin and ibi. irwin had to make a bracelet for yk-who while waiting for ibi, omfg he took forever to get there. we went to bt and had a blast there. lastly we went to klcc by foot hahaha . i had fun today even thought they said i looked like i was in a bad mood and all but no i wasn't . this is a good day to have fun before tests :) can't talk much cos , yk~~~~~ kkkkkk. aight then i'll post up later WHEN MY FUCKING NET WORKS.......i am using kak monic's digi broadband kkkk.

before i sleep, i saw this amazing video of her dancing to Beyonce's sweet dream. FUCK , SHE CAN TOTALLY MOVE !!! i'm lazy to post the vid haha. i saw this comment , it has like 39 likes and i totally agree with he/she "Ga-hee is like the total package. Powerful charismatic dancer, strong vocals and rapping, pretty but humble expressions, and a killer body that looks natural from exercise and being healthy."

Taco bell, I MISS YOU SO MUCH!

i remember last summer, when i visited Chicago, i went to you like everyday for a burrito/nachos/taco. the 1st thing on my list as i arrived in Chi was to eat your burrito cos it has been 5 years since i last tasted it during that moment. my bro bought one but i fell asleep cos i was jet lagged so at 3am i woke up and ate it; push me...n then just touch me...til i can get my....satisfactionnnnnnnnnn XD i even ate a burrito for my last day there. i insisted to have one. every time i ate something from TB, i would finish it and, my brother and mother would be all like "whoa, omg!!!" *laughing*

i seriously miss youuuu, esp when i see my twitter background :D
i want to eat your food right now, like real bad!!!!! your food makes me happy like how chocolate fudge brownie cookie dough ice cream, italian food and muy caliente coreano muchacho does :')

even though you made me gained weight but, it was totally worth eating your food. hahahaha!

I love and want all of the clothes above :)
I'm in love with baby phat, thank you for designing it Kimora :*

omfg first of all its f-ing hot here in malaysia. it looks like it's gonna rain GOOD RAIN ALREADY!!!

lo triste es sábado por la noche, estoy en casa, aburrido, escuchando canciones de Pitbull, imaginando a mí Bukit Kiara indoor arena mismo en verlo... i hope i don't forget what that sentence mean tmrw hahahaha. that 12 hrs pitbull benny bernassi thing is going on now, i am officially jealous of those dancing to the beat THERE -_______-


ohhmyyy, my mom is watching malaysia's AFI :| there's nothing else i can say..

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMFGGGGG WTFFFFFFF, SIIBAAAAAAAAALLLL!!! TONIGHT PITBULL'S GON ROCK BUKIT KIARA INDOOR ARENA BUT I AM NOT GONNA BE THEREEEE :( :'( :'( :'( WTFFFF THIS IS SO UNFAIR! DARN YOU, MALAYSIA, FOR MAKING UP THAT STUPID RULEEE! = ONLY FUCKING 18-YEAR-OLDS AND ABOVE CAN WATCH!!!!! ARRRRGGGGHHH SIBAAAAAALLL! FML FML :@

I ALSO WANT HER BODY! THOSE TONED LEGS AND FLAT ASS ABS !!!!!!

yup she's the leader of After School and she's my other role model :) she's turning 30 this christmas!!!!! omg she's that old but she looks young.. our height is not so different from mine :P and we have the same blood type, O kkkkk. she's gorgeous, she raps & sings, she's cool and i love her!!!